I've deliberately left this post to do this weekend. I thought I would be doing it earlier than late on Sunday, but that's life.
We've had a roller coaster ride over the past few days. The meeting with one of the doctors - she is a Registrar in the Radiology section - on Wednesday this week after the "Glowing session" was utterly devastating. Not only because I have never met a doctor anywhere who had obviously skipped all the University lectures on basic social niceties, empathy, understanding, politeness and a few others I could mention but for the delivery and the content. She knew the medical side of things. We thought this meeting was going to be our opportunity to ask a few questions and to get a better understanding of exactly which cancer Alex has in the lung area and what to expect in the recovery process.
After a rude and awful start on her part, it just got worse. Her manner came across as utterly condescending and we felt like we were wasting her valuable time. After mumbling the type of cancer that Alex has in the lung area, I asked her 2-3 times what the name of it was, and she could see I was trying to write it down but she never even offered to spell it for me. After a few other 'crisp' answers to our questions she crisply and condescendingly said that Alex has 6-8 weeks left. I'm talking here about life expectancy. Alex just looked stunned, and to be honest, I went to pieces. She then thought to close the door to the room we were in. She passed me a paper towel out of the dispenser over the sink, and then quickly we were out of the room and on our way home.
Once we arrived home, we called Marlene & Rudy who dropped everything and drove over. Wonderful friends.
We spent that night and the next day adjusting to the news and trying to work out how to cope. On the Thursday we turned up again for another Glowing Session and I went to see if I could get a script we needed. The nice girl/lady on the reception area got the idea that I didn't want to see the same Doctor again, and I ended up putting in a complaint. The complaint was passed on to this doctor and she came out to see me. We ended up in a "meeting", the result of which she seemed quite surprised that I wasn't "happy with the meeting yesterday". I said that she could treat me like a piece of s**t if she wished, but that she wasn't to speak to Alex that way EVER again and I hoped that no other patient or their carers/families had the same experience. She apologised to me and I ended up with the script we needed.
On the Friday morning, we were due to meet doctors at the Chemotherapy section of the hospital. After the friendly girl at the reception area filled in the necessary paperwork she gave us a guided tour of the area. We waited for a short time and then the doctor came out - he said hello, introduced himself, invited us into his room, closed the door and then reintroduced himself and said just to call him Eddy. WOW. What a change! He went through lots of questions, made copious notes to add to the history of Alex's file and even asked us if we had any questions! He recorded the meeting for us and that obviously made me feel happier. He gave Alex a quick examination as well. Then he made sure we were comfortable and with spades of empathy, he said that there was some good news (considering the verdict we had been given).
He said that Alex had 3 things in his favour. He was considered young, fit and because he'd given up smoking 21 years previously, he was considered almost a non-smoker. But with someone with Stage 4 cancer (the worst and final stage) the average life expectancy is 9 months.
We were thrilled. After 36 hours of a nightmare, suddenly it seemed that this was wonderful news.
Alex wanted me to say that in his own style, he'd of course skipped Stages 1, 2 and 3 and gone straight to Stage 4.
Of course, there are always stories of people who have been given short life expectancies a decade or longer ago.
Alex has an amazingly positive attitude which is wonderful. We're on this journey together and to each of us it means different things, although we want the same outcome. We will enjoy every day that we have and there are always good things happening every day. We had and have lots of plans, and the only gift we need is time.
So with this good news, suddenly for us the family lunch on Friday wasn't as bad as we'd thought. Eva came with us to the Friday Glowing Session and Alex was told that "the" Doctor wanted to see him afterwards. I thought that she just wanted to apologise for the Wednesday meeting, but it turned out that she just wanted to tell him that she was going to be on holidays for a week!!! She was going to 'take the trouble' of introducing Alex to her replacement, but her replacement was away that day, so she couldn't. And of course we were in and out of that meeting in a matter of minutes - I think it would take longer to swim a decent 400 medley than the meeting took. Alex wished her a lovely holiday.
And then it was the weekend. This meant that Alex had a recovery period from his Glowing Sessions. Yesterday afternoon 3 of his mates came over briefly to have a game of cards. Sean had ridden all the way from Guyra and it was wonderful that Alex had this time with some of his mates to look forward to.
Which brings me to today - Sunday. It was a glorious day. We made the most of it and after having a relaxing morning over a cooked breakfast and some time to read the papers, we set off to tick a few things off our list. I will post some photos in the next blog.
Tonight we went down to the neighbours place for a roast dinner and a good yarn. Alex's appetite is slowly returning and that's great to see. We had a lovely time.
I'll finish up for now for this roller coaster episode. Photos to follow and here's to a good week to follow!
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